The line: "You should take me back to your place so I can give you a shoulder massage. You look stressed."
Why It's Wack: You must think your hands have the magic ability to shift time, space, and circumstance. The likelihood of my allowing you to get anywhere near my house after you've demonstrated a serious deficit in understanding social conventions is non-existent. You're lucky I didn't run out the door when you took off your shoe to scratch your foot, I really have no interest in that hand coming anywhere near me. Ever.
I Think What You Meant Was: "I don't know why you're making that face and sitting so far away from me, so I'll find a way to touch you and show you my intuitive side."
Next time, try: Avoiding the diagnoses and offers for treatment until I've asked you for a copy of your official transcript and letters of recommendation.
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