from an adjacent restaurant table

The line: "There's so many things to be happy about in the world. Here's my card. I want to bring you joy."

What She Heard: "Stop crying. Your petty problems can be solved with my art and wisdom. $29.95."

Why It's Wack: You must think the watercolored clinical psychology degree on your office wall has granted you magical powers. Not only should you never come at me when I'm drowning my sorrows in grits and eggs, but there is no room for you or your art in my inner circle. Erased!

I Think What You Meant Was: "I know I'm interrupting your tearful private conversation, but my art is revolutionary and I can't let you go on without it."

Next time, try: Minding your own waffle.