at a club party

The line: [grabbing my hand, trying to pull me to the dancefloor] "Girl, you need some exercise. Come dance with me so I can work you out."

What I Heard: You're fat. I'm a personal trainer you don't want to use.

Why It's Wack: You must think I came here because the gym was closed. If you're so concerned with my health, you should offer to run a marathon with me, not bother me with your sorry excuse for Thursday night cardio.

I Think What You Meant Was: "I'm already sweaty and I'm a little concerned that you and your friends are making jokes about me [ed.- TRUE]. Maybe if you're sweaty too, I can get through the next hour without having to find a clean shirt somewhere."

Next time, try: dancing further away from me.